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今天的我睡不了觉,不知明天的我是否能入眠呢??

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cried a lot... seriously, cried a lot... my eyes are like swollen already... this afternoon thought my dad was in the mortuary room... i was holding his hand... cold yet no respond... u will never know the feeling... have u ever thought of it??? i do not thinking of it for once until the incident happened.. and it was badly scary... how much i wish that was fake for sure... i have nowhere to go... i dun wan to stay here and i dun wan to go home... in fact, i dun know where to go... independence!!!! i have to become a STRONG WOMEN indeed... when?? when i can achieve it?? please PAPA, please GOD~~~ PLS bless for me... i dun wan to have this kind of life anymore... was aimless, and meaningless... jiayou!!!! u can do it wan.....

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I think this is the first time i cried in the dark room.. Was so helpless.. Was so aimless.. Was being an idiot.. This week really taught me something.. Was giving up myself so deeply.. Never be that at all in my university life.. Cried while i was eating. This make me recall that my dad told me 'dun cry like the world comes to the end Bcoz i am still alive'. I miss him so much.. His sound, his voice, his touch and his everything is still in my mind.. U will never know how much i wan him back to me.. argh... Pls god... I feel like leaving this environment.. I dun like it at all.. Wat do i really have?? In fact, I do not have anything... Argh.. Dun feel like saying anymore..

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i wan my dad come back to us so much.. after my dad has gone... there's always a person who accompany me from time to time... the person who really cares me... the person who advice me... the person has no hard feeling after i throw my temper on the person.. the person who support me all the times... the person talks to me when im lonely and depressed... the person who takes all the burden on her shoulder after my dad has gone... the person is my mum... omg... feeling so sad... wat happens to me??