~~~~

it's end of the year of 2012~~ not to say much... my life in 2012 is just sucked!!! really changed my whole life.... just couldn't accept it.... just feel crying~~ haizz... i cant be happy even the last day in 2012.... of coz.... year 2012, is the unlucky year ever..... even though im enjoying the last day in 2012, i won't be happy too... my dad won't stay alive again... he can just be in my heart... his face, his hands, his big tummy~~~ i cant touch him anymore... again, why will this happened?? argh~~ suppose to be a happy family, ended up at tat moment~~~ everything is not going smooth in my life and at my home~~~ i just hope everything will be fine soon... very soon.... pls~~~ damn... hate it... yet, having my last period in 2012... sign... damn moody... really spoiled my mood.... argh... anyone can help me, pls??

....

look back at those pictures... seriously, dun u ever move a wrong step in ur life... if not, u would regret gao gao... recall back, why will this happened in my life?? i shouldn't let it be like tat... omg... miss those moment so much... but cant go back to those days dy... haizz... just a step!! really just a step, and im regretting... but tats not the point.. most important, im satisfied right now.... *crapzzzz*


would be exactly 3 months, u leaved us physically.... pa, how r u a??? how's everything in another world with u??? is it everything alright??? i miss u so much here.... mum and sylvia went to hatyai for this few days... and i dun know who to call and talk with... just now, i called mama.. she said the stupid dog tat bite eyo, today again, its bite sporty again.... i was like omg.... im afraid tat the same incident would happen again le... koko said the same thing as u... he says he wanna hit the dog... but luckily, sporty was not hurt at all... dun wanna it to be happened again, seriously... im so afraid le, pa.... haizz.... the feeling of missing u.... dun know where have u been.... will u come back to see us??? 100 day is come soon.... it was too cruel!! omg.... i hate it...

.....

the pain of losing a loved ones..... pa, how r u ya??? i miss u seriously.... i still cant believe that u've leaved us so early... i can feel tat u r just beside us.... when the time i go back home, i hope to see u... hope to listen to ur voice.... hope to touch u.... hope to talk to u... i dun wanna remember tat u have gone far far away from us.... i dun wanna remember it.... why??? why will become like tat??? my life seems unmotivated without ur support... i need a strong person to motivate me, pa... do u know tat, ka che has engaged with Ricardo?? u suppose to be there, u know.... argh!!! u still got a lot of things to do and see, pa.... but why??? u used to massage my head when im headache... u used to advice me or conform me when im sad... u used to bring me food when im hungry or not... u used to do everything~~~ but now, i cant get anything more from u... u cant pamper me anymore.... pa~~~~~~~~~~~~~ did i make u proud before??? wat r u doing there a??? watching movie like as usual or drinking alcohol and chatting with mum or sleep dy a??? exactly 3 months i din talk to u dy.... i din see u.... i din touch u.... damn!!! i hate this feeling so much!!!! pa, u take care, ok?? pa, forgive me, ok??? i'll be alright soon... i wanna hug u so badly.... omg!!! i love u, pa... bb.... we love u....

...

wanna go back home desperately.... dun wanna stay here anymore... im bored enough.... get bored with cornflakes... ate for the whole day without anything... bcoz of my butt is too heavy to move =.= lol~~ i wanna breakfast, i wanna shopping, i wanna watch movie, i wanna do many things.... im kinda bored here... 2 and a half months.... u have gone for the 2 and a half mths... miss u so much, papa... every action of urs always in my mind... love u... :-* u know tat we love u....

...

Argh!! im suffering... stupid mind is thinking of stupid question... wondering y this will happened on me?? this is kinda stupid question... i knew this is fate... we cant do anything to change the fact... missing u a lots..... OMG!!! missing everything tat u have done to us.... all just became memories all in sudden!!! just memories... haizzz... how r u in the another world?? r u still around me??? can u pls let me know?? i smell the smell when u were in the coffin.. or is just tat an illusion?? do u know wat~~ many things are bothering me.... im kinda annoyed.... dun feel like talking dy... ppl around tend to put temper on me due to wat i've said... but i dun think tat i said something wrong... i asked my friends... they say i din say anything wrong... but y??? or maybe is just tat im thinking too much.... feel tat im no one here... or i demand too much from them?? i've no idea.... argh!!! i just cant talk to anyone.... im not in the mood.... everything hurts me!!! i've no mood to continue my assignment dy!!! omg!!! due date is coming soon....

...

suddenly i have a feeling or thought tat human is like a glass... if u accidentally drop it, the glass will  broke into small rock crystal... my mind is playing me... argh!! keep on imaging tat i might die on the next day... nonsense thought.... but i cant control myself not to think of it... my sister told me tat my dad went into her dream and tells her tat my dad cant eat all the food tat we bought for him... my dad haven gone through the 'King of Heaven' yet... omg!! i feel sad with it... my dad has been through the difficult time and suffer the pain.. yet, he can't eat the food tat we buy for him.... he must be very hungry... how can it be like tat?? argh!!! why my dad din come to my dream?? i miss him a lot... i just wanna know his condition now... i know tat he can't come back to us.. but at least let us know tat he's being well in another world... but, wats the dream about?? is it true?? i can't believe it men... haizzz... pls god... pls let my beloved father lives better in another world.. pls guide him and take care of him... pls dun let him suffer.. pls....

...

i think tat im kinda immature... i'll not ask tat kind of questions dy...
after all, i can see it more clearly which is true friend or not...  really do observe it... thank you so much for giving me hints to know the truth....

exactly a month!!!!

exactly a month that u have leaved us.... every times when i recall back the moment when my sister called me telling me that papa has passed away, my heart drop from the top till the bottom... i couldn't accept, u know.... i was stunned... it was just a dream to me... a nightmare... last month at this date and time, i was in happy's room and watching movie... but i've forgotten to call my dad... i din even speak to him for a whole week... when he put me at USM, the last word he said take care, dear, ok, bye bye.. looking at his car disappear in my eyesight, i only wan to walk up the stair... the sadness of mine, i couldn't express at the moment... lagipun, at the moment my sis called me up, i cant believe that is true... my knee fell on the floor and asking wat's going on to my roommate.. keep on asking and asking.... i was helpless that time.... once before, i have a thought will there someday one of my family will leave us during my uni life? i thought i was a nonsense thought.. seriously, i dun wan it happen on me... tat day my sis told me tat papa hasn't gone yet, the computer switch on by itself.. my dad used to play with the computer to prepare his notes for tourism... i know tat he miss us as well.... i know tat he doesn't wan to leave us so soon.... but why they wanna take him away from us?? from a lovely family... he haven been to the places tat he wan... we as a child, haven brought him to travel and eat the food tat he always mention.. we haven do anything yet but u leaved us... i know tat im not so used to say 'I LOVE U' to u, papa... but i really meant it... u know it.... im not used to hug u... the last time i hugged u when u were in the car... u were about to start ur journey back to KL... u messaged me telling me tat u r having tea with mami... and tat was the last message from u!!! im still asking why?? why u have to leave us?? the weather now is like going to rain... i know tat u r sad when seeing us like tat... but i've no choice... maybe im the most emotional girl in house... but i couldn't control myself.. always when i cried in the room, u will come into the room and telling me not to cry, girl.. ur hand will touch my head softly... do u remember tat??? no one will do tat to me anymore... just u, papa!!! just u!!!! after scolding by mami or mama, definitely u will come and sayang me.... will u come to my dream and talk to me??? will u?? tat day i saw a bee, is tat u??? u r with us on the car mirror when we sent u to xiao en.. u were with us in the kitchen when we r praying for u, to ask u come back to look for us... u were here tat day, but i'm not sure is tat u or not... im not sure... i was quite afraid of the bee at tat moment, the next thing in my mind was is papa.. is papa... when i look back, i couldn't see a bee at all... argh.. mum said u like to walk around, u cant sit still... we knew tat.. then will u come to penang and see me??? u still remember the way to penang??? u have sent me twice to university... u have brought us many times to penang... ur office was here before.. definitely u will know the way... omg.. pa, i just miss u so much!!! i miss u and i love u!! hope u will be fine in another world... let me know ur current condition pa... im coward i know... but i wont afraid when u come and see me.... u r my daddy forever in my heart....

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everything has changed in my life.... Totally changed.... Papa, where r u??? i miss ur muscular hands le.... i miss u.. i miss u so much le.... There are many question mark in my mind due to ur deceased... omg.... Why this will happen on u??

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is quite difficult to accept tat someone has gone for the rest of ur life.... Pa, im thinking of u all the time... the way ur cough, the faces tat u prank us, the fierce faces, the way u walk after prank us, the look when u took off ur fake teeth, the way u sitting down at the dining table, ur happy faces, etc.... u played an important role in my life and yet u have gone without a word.... i miss u le.... wat's in my mind is tat u just went to oversea and haven come back... the feeling tat u went to oversea and u r gone are totally different... really... we r doing everything without u beside us.. having breakfast, went to the market, buy food, went to our old house, driving with family and everything... EVERYTHING.. never imagine tat u will leaved us so soon...

..

u r in my mind very deeply... really miss u deeply, papa ... can u come back to me?? almost half a month u leaved us... i know tat life still goes on... but i feel like giving up, u know.... is really suffer... torturing seriously... every time i come back to uni, i will remember the day u fetched me back to penang... the moment u put me off and start ur journey back to KL... looking at ur shadow getting far apart from my eyesight was totally hurt.... Pa, seriously i miss u very very much....   Pa, how r u in another world?? every movement tat u did, still very clear and fresh in my mind... i've to force myself to be happy in front of my family... i cant make them feel sad... the stressful and sadness tat no one would knows...

this world is damn cruel...

the day without u, my beloved papa..

can u just imagine someday u will lost ur dad?? what would u react?? can u still stay strong?? or u r going to act tat u r alright?? ever since i was young, i never dare to think of it.. and yet, it really happened in my reality life... i just do not wan to accept tat my dad has gone to another world whereby not belong to us.. i've lost my dad.. i can't accept the fact tat my dad has gone.... he leaved without saying a goodbye, take care and 'my dearest, pa loves u.'.. all this time, keep on asking myself a lot of questions... i don't know whether am i a good girl to my dad... did i make my dad proud of me?? etc.... u will never know the feeling, seriously.... keep finding ppl to accompany me, but seems everyone is busy... staying in the room can just make me think the memories with my dad.... i dun know to say im ok to everyone who has asked am i alright?? seriously, im not ok at all.... i'm not as tough as u guys think... im just an ordinary girl... my heart is very painful... my heart drops when i think of my dad.... i dun wan him to leave me so soon and so sudden.... i haven graduated yet... u haven see ur girl graduate yet, pa... pa, u haven celebrate my 21st birthday.. we haven treat u well yet.... a click of eyes, can happen lot of things and changed everything... u cant predict wat will happen to someone who is far apart of u.... just appreciate every single hour, minute and second with ur love one....  seeing u laying in the coffin motionless really broke my heart... calling ur name and u din answer me.... it was totally cruel... the 10th day without u.... dun worry my father... i love u and no one can take away ur status in my heart.... bye...

=.=

我说的不介意，其实还是介意的。。。

insomnia

no one knows my feeling.... im really sad right now.... i couldn't sleep at all... im worrying about my dog... just now when i went down to see my dog... she's not moving... my tears just dropped automatically.... im afraid tat she will die... im really scare... why?? omg... when she heard tat im crying, she woke up.... i knew tat she understand me... she knew tat im there... she just dun wan me to be sad... she's always good to us... she has no temper....i just dun know wat to do... i dun wan she to leave us.... seriously... although im not really love pets... but she's already in my house... she's still ours... still remember for the first time when she had a problem.. when she was pregnant, she cant give birth to its child... yet, my family member were not around, im the one who accompany her and talk to her by not letting her to give up... she was on my lap... until my parents come back to sent her to the clinic... i still remember clearly the moment tat i'm with her.. this time i really have no idea.... i dun know wat to do... she's cute.. although i always scold her but i din mean it...now, i hope tat she'll be ok and healthy.. plsss.. god pls bless my dog... pls.. i beg u.... i dun wanna go back to usm in this condition... pls... i really dun wan... god, pls bless my dog...

WHY WHY WHY??!! WHY this happened to my dog???!! argh!!! i'm gonna damn the stupid ass wild dog... u bloody hell... u hurt my dog! damn seriously!! argh.. i've no strength right now... im shaking... im not dare to look at ur wound... is seriously deep!! no clinic for u right now.. all closed.. how how how?? seriously.. i need to go to the clinic... morning morning... faster come, pls~~~~ its always being polite for the whole time.... u stupid wild dog..... u bite my dog!! dun u ever let me see ur stupid dog face.... i've no idea wat will i do to u....... my dog.... omg...........

=.=

The promises that u have promised.. u didn't fulfill it... the trust tat i put on u totally lost!! no need to explain much on it.... have no point on it as well... anyway, i've gained a lots.. gain on wat??? wat else?! of coz my body weight la... argh.... damn much!! how am i going to have jog everyday huh?? is tough... the determination of mine is getting lower..... but i have to do it... jiayou!! gambateh!! my body weight increase damn fast and easy... damn unfair wei.... argh... pek chek.. anyhow, is my body... ii've to accept the fact pun!!! can de can de... jiayou, ida.... i have to control myself.... control on consuming food.... tats the point... control control.... no more fat fat food.... everyday jogging... lol... can i do it??? yes!! i must do it... i've to fully utilize my nike shoes..... arww.... my sharp and nice nike shoes.... i like it so much... wanna wear it so much.... is quite cheap though... lol... big fat ass~~~ :)

~~

以前当有很多人疼的时候，你偏偏不懂的珍惜.. 他们所对你做的一切，是你不懂的珍惜。。。现在，那一切是你要不回来了。。你再也找不回来的。。很怀念被人疼的日子。。 他们的关心和细心， 你很难找回来了。。。 同时有三个阶段的朋友，享受着他们对你的好。。。  同时，慢慢的一个一个消失在他的生活了。。 真的还蛮想念那一段日子。。 现在，发现他并不是很重要在每一个人的生活里。。他渐渐发现他只不过是一个‘配脚色‘罢了。。。Argh... fan a fan a fan a.....

~~~

一个期待的可能。。。 一个不可能的可能。。。 都知道，清楚的一个不可能。。。 还在想来干嘛呀~~~ 傻子！！ 最近很爱打华语字叻。。。 lol....

crazy!!

他在我的字典中已消失了。。。 别在往回看了。。。不想在往回看！！ is enough!!! 但他还在我的记忆中漂流着。。。。 wat's going on with me??! i've no idea... omg~~~ damn... tired and frus!!!

emo post

hmm... feel boring~~ lot of things to do, yet, still feel bored... freaking headache right now... omg... dun know wat am i doing right now?? confusing~ dilemma?? oh men... gonna be an 'emo' post dy.... i just cant understand, dun understand... how's my life gonna be? i have to bare the consequences tat i've done before... i always believe in karma... that's y i'm facing it... i dun blame anyone.. and i know tat i cant blame too... i just dun know whether is it worth it or not... argh... 'fan' a 'fan' a..... i'll never talk about my private things to anyone unless i really trust the person... envy for wat i've observed and congrats tat wat can i only say... hope there's a better person for u... i have never done that before.... i'm not that kind of girl.... and i'm not that type of girl to u.... 分的不清不楚，弄得不明不白。。只能怪自己没把事情弄得清清楚楚。。。 cant blame anyone.... that was the way u've chosen... aiyo.. over dy la... no point to think of it anymore... i'm always like tat.... i wanna to be a mature girl... mature in a way of thinking and my action... i'm too playful... i wanna to be more confident to myself... do anything also dun know or not sure... very sien with these kind of words... i also feel bad when i keep saying tat... lol... DDD!!!! 

=.=

i wish to blog with a open heart!! oh men... just forget about it... girl's feeling, u will never know!!! she hates ignorance...

too much!!!!!!

omg!!! seriously, i'm childish... i always demand too much... i always think too much.... i never appreciate thing which is in front of me... i'm complaining and dissatisfied... i'm just a failure... im changing.. getting worst... i'm selfish... this is not me!!! i promised to myself... i'll change... i'm sorry for wat i've done... feel much guilty... damn... ask wat happy said... ive to control my temper well...   i've to know myself... i'm gonna force myself not to be like that anymore... self-discipline is very important... jiayou... i know i can do it, if i really wan to do it... dun challenge me....

randomly

hmmm... i shouldnt use just realize... because i have already know wat's it.... maybe i should use it reminds me of something... everyone is the same in this world... seems cruel... i din know tat someone will say that and that person do make me feel scary... the guy really remind me of something... really thank you... u remind me of not simply believe on others... i have lost my awareness until u remind me... oh, thank god!!! seriously... having two papers in a row... yet dun have the mood to study... OMG... it's too over.. ok.. time to ciao...

Moo Cow

when she's around, i never ever appreciate her attendance. when she's gone, i felt sad and sorry to her... i never talk, play and even show my love to u. maybe the first step tat my sis has taken which is wrong... but really sorry to u... no matter where u have been, i'll bless for u.. hopefully u wont be in another world. take care...

complicated

complicated.. feel like going back to my home..... yesterday i was still laughing with my family now i'm alone in my room.. argh... celebration for my dad and mum and durian that my dad bought for me~~~ omg... i miss it badly.....

randomly..

hmm... just feel that this few days seldom talk to u... hardly see u in front of my eye-sight... is going to have exam soon.. yet, not really in exam mood... still talk craps around, play around, fb all the time.. just dun understand nia... nothing at fb.. yet, i'm still hoping of something... keep on on-ing it... omg... i've to stop it immediately... it's a sign of danger... i'm focusing in fb only.. no others... my eyes din even look at my book.... is crazy men... i dun wan to regret... i knew it... and i always remind myself not to be regret.. yet, i'm still doing things to make myself regret... dun feel like sleeping tonight but i'm sleepy and i'm afraid that i cant wake up on time... how?? my bus is very early and hopefully wont delay the time anymore... i dun wanna to be late again... i'm taking many things... and i'm afraid i'll miss the bus... sure no breakfast for tomorrow morning.... luckily i've something to eat.... oh yea... eat is important nia... i like i like... wish me all the best for final exam pls~~~~~~~~~ jiayou... gambateh...

exhausted and FFK week....

exhausted week.... OMG... not feeling well plus having performance for two days... this morning went for a performance... and while waiting, i listened to a song and make me think of u... it was out of sudden... those days we both went through lot of moment... hmmm... feel like........ okok... lol... i just cant believe that i slept at the bilik interaktif for almost 3 hours... i'm freaking tired.. is a sign... is going to have final soon... everything seems haven well-prepare... yet, i'm not fully heal... argh.. is torturing actually... hmm.. actually i wanna share a lot of things here... but i'm too tired... lol... DDY... hehehe... my feeling was up and down.. fluctuating from last sunday until to today.... happy+tired+sad+ill+enjoy+lotssssss more.... but i must mention!! is a FFK week also... almost everyday i get one airasia ticket from ppl... walao eh... i really cant believe it lo... i'm keep on mentioning FFK bcoz i hate being ffk by ppl... haizz.. actually is all over.. no point to keep on mentioning... i've to forgo it dy... must do it... gambateh~~ if u say u can; u can!!! this morning we just had a small celebration for harry's birthday.. but surprisingly... he cried... i was so shock.. i cant believe that he cried... well... he was shocked and feel touching, i think... feel like talk about thing tat happened last night.. but there's no point to mention since it was over.. no hard feeling.. oh yea... over!!! stop thinking the past.... think for the future... things tat might happen tomorrow... jiayou, ida~~

insecure...

dun know since when, it's happened.... and i dun know why... is scary... this kind of feeling is bad... feel like hugging someone... lay on someone's shoulder... feel insecure so much.... argh... i'm so into blogging nowadays... lol... is kinda weird... but is a kind of way for me to relax... oh yea ^^

pek chek moment

hmm... after that moment, i felt that not everyone is clever in this world... maybe u din notice about it at all...  actually i knew it since earlier.... she's the one who need to work like mad and end up with a little bit of good result... she's not clever at all.... she's not expert in any field.... she's just a very ordinary girl who lives in this world.... u make her realize how stupid she is ... and she really feel bad at that moment~~~ maybe is the communication gap in between both of them... he cant understand wat she's trying to say and she has already understood wat he taught just now... she really felt that she has been humiliated.. maybe he din realize about it or he doesnt have the heart to meant it... but she get it negatively.... she just cant concentrate recently.. she looks at her course mate and started to wonder why he can be so concentrated in his studies but she cant~~ this is a question for the girl... a question that have no answer.... she's afraid... she cant be sick again... she cant do the same things that she has done before... she dun wan to go back to those moment.. horrible and unforgettable moment... omg... she really hopes she can be stronger and tougher... she really hopes she can be more intelligent a bit... but she knows is impossible at least she really work it out.... jiayou... u really can do it... she'll always support her forever...

:(

hmm.... actually is quite difficult to predict everyone's emotion and the most important is their mindset... this morning feel like crying when i was listening to the radio plus songs.... i found that i'm quite emotional recently... maybe of my illness plus the homesickness.... lol.... i dun know y tat i really dislike this sem... i really cant find a reason of it.... maybe my expectation is too high for this sem... i wanna be extraordinary than last sem... but when the expectation is too high, u'll always get hurt more than b4.... i just wanna leave this town for a little while... let me have my own life, my own time, and my own world..... i'm too tired of everything here.... tears drop automatically again... i hate this feeling... i dun like my tears come out when i'm uncomfortable... it'll make me even more headache.... the life here is changing every second~~~ is unpredictable... is scary and horrible too.... i always blame my life here but actually i'm very glad with wat i've get from the start... i should learn to be more thankful with wat i had at this environment... thanks god... amitabha.... KL'a life.... i must learn to adapt to this new environment...

randomly~~~

hmmm.... recently, i felt empty... i do not know wat i really want... i keep on giving myself excuses not to study just bcoz i'm sick... almost a month... it's very suffer seriously... no one take care of u when u r 'oversea' for studies. the emptiness that no ones understand me although i'm keep on going out with friends... it's mentally torture.... i wanna go home badly.... seems that something goes on at my house but i dun know wat to say and how to say.... i'm going to be crazy soon.. sometimes will think negatively... nonsense... something that will hurt someone's feeling if i do so.... is impossible... and i believe tat i'm not tat brave to do so... second sem of mine, is totally suck for me.... i freaking hate it.... oh damn... argh...

doubt~~~

having doubt~~ everything seems flying forward to me.. i'm really not in a well prepared condition but is coming towards me.... i'm afraid.... i'm exhausted... i hope tat ~~~ can give me some times to suit myself into the condition first.... i seem cant live without it.... is my spirit!!! lol.... maybe is an excuse.... hmm... i wanna forget my past and be a new me... a new person in this world... a new person who has no worries and lives with happily.... free of stress and sadness... i wanna live beyond the past of mine... doubt will never stop in my mind!!! just cant make it clearly... i just cant be my own selves anymore.... my temper is going mad... i knew is not good and not fair to my friends who are beside me.... i do apologies for that.... i din meant it... but i just cant control myself... argh.. oh god.... suddenly feel like going to the temple.. i felt peace when i was there... why everyone will thought tat u r pity when u r alone?? no matter in wat sense.. but just pity.. lol... no, pls.. actually is kind of enjoyment... no one tat annoy u and u will have lotsss of time to think, to relax and to be blank of mind... omg... these life, is not mine anymore.... o.O.o..... can anyone help me to release my doubtfulness??? i'm 21 in this year... i've to be mature... i've to think mature.. and i've to act mature.. however, i'm NOT!!!! 21 years old is just a number for me... but i cant accept it... is too old... forever 18 flies long long time ago... may we back to secondary time??? i know cant Cant CANT!!!! wat i wan is just back to my past, yet, i wanna forget my past... wat a contrast... haha... is annoying.... hope tat there is a person who can hug me tightly from the back... and give me fully support and make me feel 100% of safeness.... anyone???

@.@

feel so moody... dun feel like talking with anyone~~ once u talk to me, i dun feel like talking with u.. end up, we end our conversation like *shit*... lol.... who knows about my feeling??? i'm tired of waiting.. i'm tired of EVERYTHING!!! i'm sleepy.. feel like i've given up with my studies~~ wat's tat, men??? someone come and accompany me, pls??? i'm going to be insane soon.... haizz... once i'm moody and no one to share with.. blog will be my friends forever~~ i like!!

2012

It's brand new year for me.... after all since i'm back from USM, right now i feel so relax... listening to music and wanna blogging for a while... hahahaha.... wow, seems so fast.. i'm going to be 21 years old... but luckily my birthday haven come yet.... just cant imagine it.. always recall back those time, those days and those years.... those days tat i couldn't rewind but all just in my mind.... new friends and new environment in USM... and i'm already used to the life over there.... overall, everything is fine... but i've no idea with wat will happen next.. waiting for results.... so scary.. for me, i'll choose to escape for this moment.. dun wanna spoil my CNY's mood... lol.... have a feeling tat i've changed a lot... i'm not the IDA LOH at those days.... from good to worst and worst to good in some parts.... last year was totally MY YEAR!!!! but i doubt this year is mine also.... knew tat i shouldn't be so greedy... life wouldn't be perfect forever... have to face it and have to find ways to settle it... my mood now is good but feel like wanna be moody for a moment.... in these relationships, i know tat i'm such a failure... feel afraid in having any failure relationship... scare to hurt and being hurt but keep on dragging is not good.... i dun wan dun wan DUN WAN... just skip this.... just cant believe tat i've done my first sem..... walao eh.... fast dao..... i cant touch my favorite sub already.... the sub tat i put all my afford on it.... but others like shit... actually i hate to answer HOWS UR PAPER??? but i did ask this question before... i know myself very well, ok??? if i said i cant means i've no confident with it... just trust me, wei~~~ i dun have no offence here.... imma too straight forward :P i'm lazy to type already.... hope everything will be fine in these coming yearsssss~~~ jia you!!!!!!!!