doubt~~~

having doubt~~ everything seems flying forward to me.. i'm really not in a well prepared condition but is coming towards me.... i'm afraid.... i'm exhausted... i hope tat ~~~ can give me some times to suit myself into the condition first.... i seem cant live without it.... is my spirit!!! lol.... maybe is an excuse.... hmm... i wanna forget my past and be a new me... a new person in this world... a new person who has no worries and lives with happily.... free of stress and sadness... i wanna live beyond the past of mine... doubt will never stop in my mind!!! just cant make it clearly... i just cant be my own selves anymore.... my temper is going mad... i knew is not good and not fair to my friends who are beside me.... i do apologies for that.... i din meant it... but i just cant control myself... argh.. oh god.... suddenly feel like going to the temple.. i felt peace when i was there... why everyone will thought tat u r pity when u r alone?? no matter in wat sense.. but just pity.. lol... no, pls.. actually is kind of enjoyment... no one tat annoy u and u will have lotsss of time to think, to relax and to be blank of mind... omg... these life, is not mine anymore.... o.O.o..... can anyone help me to release my doubtfulness??? i'm 21 in this year... i've to be mature... i've to think mature.. and i've to act mature.. however, i'm NOT!!!! 21 years old is just a number for me... but i cant accept it... is too old... forever 18 flies long long time ago... may we back to secondary time??? i know cant Cant CANT!!!! wat i wan is just back to my past, yet, i wanna forget my past... wat a contrast... haha... is annoying.... hope tat there is a person who can hug me tightly from the back... and give me fully support and make me feel 100% of safeness.... anyone???