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it's end of the year of 2012~~ not to say much... my life in 2012 is just sucked!!! really changed my whole life.... just couldn't accept it.... just feel crying~~ haizz... i cant be happy even the last day in 2012.... of coz.... year 2012, is the unlucky year ever..... even though im enjoying the last day in 2012, i won't be happy too... my dad won't stay alive again... he can just be in my heart... his face, his hands, his big tummy~~~ i cant touch him anymore... again, why will this happened?? argh~~ suppose to be a happy family, ended up at tat moment~~~ everything is not going smooth in my life and at my home~~~ i just hope everything will be fine soon... very soon.... pls~~~ damn... hate it... yet, having my last period in 2012... sign... damn moody... really spoiled my mood.... argh... anyone can help me, pls??

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look back at those pictures... seriously, dun u ever move a wrong step in ur life... if not, u would regret gao gao... recall back, why will this happened in my life?? i shouldn't let it be like tat... omg... miss those moment so much... but cant go back to those days dy... haizz... just a step!! really just a step, and im regretting... but tats not the point.. most important, im satisfied right now.... *crapzzzz*


would be exactly 3 months, u leaved us physically.... pa, how r u a??? how's everything in another world with u??? is it everything alright??? i miss u so much here.... mum and sylvia went to hatyai for this few days... and i dun know who to call and talk with... just now, i called mama.. she said the stupid dog tat bite eyo, today again, its bite sporty again.... i was like omg.... im afraid tat the same incident would happen again le... koko said the same thing as u... he says he wanna hit the dog... but luckily, sporty was not hurt at all... dun wanna it to be happened again, seriously... im so afraid le, pa.... haizz.... the feeling of missing u.... dun know where have u been.... will u come back to see us??? 100 day is come soon.... it was too cruel!! omg.... i hate it...

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the pain of losing a loved ones..... pa, how r u ya??? i miss u seriously.... i still cant believe that u've leaved us so early... i can feel tat u r just beside us.... when the time i go back home, i hope to see u... hope to listen to ur voice.... hope to touch u.... hope to talk to u... i dun wanna remember tat u have gone far far away from us.... i dun wanna remember it.... why??? why will become like tat??? my life seems unmotivated without ur support... i need a strong person to motivate me, pa... do u know tat, ka che has engaged with Ricardo?? u suppose to be there, u know.... argh!!! u still got a lot of things to do and see, pa.... but why??? u used to massage my head when im headache... u used to advice me or conform me when im sad... u used to bring me food when im hungry or not... u used to do everything~~~ but now, i cant get anything more from u... u cant pamper me anymore.... pa~~~~~~~~~~~~~ did i make u proud before??? wat r u doing there a??? watching movie like as usual or drinking alcohol and chatting with mum or sleep dy a??? exactly 3 months i din talk to u dy.... i din see u.... i din touch u.... damn!!! i hate this feeling so much!!!! pa, u take care, ok?? pa, forgive me, ok??? i'll be alright soon... i wanna hug u so badly.... omg!!! i love u, pa... bb.... we love u....

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wanna go back home desperately.... dun wanna stay here anymore... im bored enough.... get bored with cornflakes... ate for the whole day without anything... bcoz of my butt is too heavy to move =.= lol~~ i wanna breakfast, i wanna shopping, i wanna watch movie, i wanna do many things.... im kinda bored here... 2 and a half months.... u have gone for the 2 and a half mths... miss u so much, papa... every action of urs always in my mind... love u... :-* u know tat we love u....

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Argh!! im suffering... stupid mind is thinking of stupid question... wondering y this will happened on me?? this is kinda stupid question... i knew this is fate... we cant do anything to change the fact... missing u a lots..... OMG!!! missing everything tat u have done to us.... all just became memories all in sudden!!! just memories... haizzz... how r u in the another world?? r u still around me??? can u pls let me know?? i smell the smell when u were in the coffin.. or is just tat an illusion?? do u know wat~~ many things are bothering me.... im kinda annoyed.... dun feel like talking dy... ppl around tend to put temper on me due to wat i've said... but i dun think tat i said something wrong... i asked my friends... they say i din say anything wrong... but y??? or maybe is just tat im thinking too much.... feel tat im no one here... or i demand too much from them?? i've no idea.... argh!!! i just cant talk to anyone.... im not in the mood.... everything hurts me!!! i've no mood to continue my assignment dy!!! omg!!! due date is coming soon....

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suddenly i have a feeling or thought tat human is like a glass... if u accidentally drop it, the glass will  broke into small rock crystal... my mind is playing me... argh!! keep on imaging tat i might die on the next day... nonsense thought.... but i cant control myself not to think of it... my sister told me tat my dad went into her dream and tells her tat my dad cant eat all the food tat we bought for him... my dad haven gone through the 'King of Heaven' yet... omg!! i feel sad with it... my dad has been through the difficult time and suffer the pain.. yet, he can't eat the food tat we buy for him.... he must be very hungry... how can it be like tat?? argh!!! why my dad din come to my dream?? i miss him a lot... i just wanna know his condition now... i know tat he can't come back to us.. but at least let us know tat he's being well in another world... but, wats the dream about?? is it true?? i can't believe it men... haizzz... pls god... pls let my beloved father lives better in another world.. pls guide him and take care of him... pls dun let him suffer.. pls....

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i think tat im kinda immature... i'll not ask tat kind of questions dy...
after all, i can see it more clearly which is true friend or not...  really do observe it... thank you so much for giving me hints to know the truth....