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damn damn damn damn damn!!! fucking hate it....... shit men.... hate to ask help from people.... mother fucker..............

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I think the way i treat ppl has some problem... but i couldn't determine the problem... argh.... is a bit down here... those moment keep repeating in my mind... am i too free or wat a??? i really miss him so much.... wish he'll come back to us so much... negative side is controlling my mind.... the memories tat he gave to us keep appearing... the feeling of sending him oversea for 3 months and sending him into the place where to incinerate is really different... cant compare at all... y like tat?? i thought i am tough enough actually... actually im not... im sorry... wats wrong with me?? seriously, i miss u very very much... aunty is taking care of me very well... she never fail to offer herself to help me, pa... im so glad.. and im so sad....

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hmm~~~ had a nice day with her!! already dun care how did i did for korean exam.... dun care... difficult and make me headache coz use too much of energy dy~~~ but i like the food so much and such a relaxing moment after those hard dayss.... thanks god... but still have 2 papers to go... im gonna insane... 2 papers only yet have to wait until 2 weeks more... small matter.. when i've already decided not to care so much on my result but need to maintain in certain cgpa but now a little bit good news on it.. omg.. wat to do.. just let go or work hard on it?? if work hard on it, i'll be crazily insane.... if dun care, i'll lose such a chances... hmmm... dilemma... just let it be, i think... sometimes if is urs then is urs... if not, no point to force to have it... i'm wondering many things... if  im having difficulties on walking, wat will i react? wats going in my next 10 years?? i wanna make some changes seriously... hopefully i can do it... nope, i can do it... jiayou~~~~

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hmmm... im so afraid right now... never thought tat we have built a bond between me and you.. dreamt tat u have hurt ur legs for few days and today i told my mum about this dream only she tells me tat... a dog has bitten u.... i was like pls god.... im so worry tat anything will happen on u.... dogs really drove me crazily.... i think my family owes dog in the past and we have to pay back during our present time.... omg.... pls god... amitabha... everything will be alright... jiayou....

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suppose is a happy outing... but end up, everything changed.. how much i wish i can talk to someone... i started to isolate myself dy... feel so much sad than before.... realize that i couldn't talk to them anymore.... is my problem, i think... no one fault... just feel that i shouldn't face that~~~ maybe is the way i treat ppl.... realize that i dun know how to communicate with anyone anymore.... what had happened to me??? i tell myself to keep quiet on it.... since, i had chosen the choice and i couldn't accept it... therefore, i have to do something not to make myself suffer... i have to protect myself... instead of allowing other ppl hurt me... the one who used to support and love me is no longer here dy~~~ i have to learn to be more stronger~~~ jiayou, ida~~~

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omg.... im so tired... tired dao dun feel like moving... seems like rushing this and tat over decade... and now finally can relax a bit... but still got one assignment need to be handed in... yet haven print it out yet... still got two tests haven do le... argh... but seems no one can save me... omg.... im kinda full right now... ate an apple and 7 pieces of biscuit... now, full dao... dun know how to sleep... but i haven shower yet le... plssssssssssssplsssssssssssssplsssssssssssssssssssss....... i need someone to back up me... im tired dy...

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原来一直以来面对的问题还没解决~~~还以为出去散散步可以放松自我，seems that the problem has came back to me again.... really suffer... the exactly problem, no one knows about it... but seriously, im really suffer in this condition... everyone thought tat im very happy enough... in fact, IM NOT... maybe i should just be more to myself... i've to care myself more but not other's eyesight... i cant fulfill everyone's need... i really cant make it... i couldn't do things properly... really disrupt me... always make mistake... im not the me anymore... well, who cares....