2012

It's brand new year for me.... after all since i'm back from USM, right now i feel so relax... listening to music and wanna blogging for a while... hahahaha.... wow, seems so fast.. i'm going to be 21 years old... but luckily my birthday haven come yet.... just cant imagine it.. always recall back those time, those days and those years.... those days tat i couldn't rewind but all just in my mind.... new friends and new environment in USM... and i'm already used to the life over there.... overall, everything is fine... but i've no idea with wat will happen next.. waiting for results.... so scary.. for me, i'll choose to escape for this moment.. dun wanna spoil my CNY's mood... lol.... have a feeling tat i've changed a lot... i'm not the IDA LOH at those days.... from good to worst and worst to good in some parts.... last year was totally MY YEAR!!!! but i doubt this year is mine also.... knew tat i shouldn't be so greedy... life wouldn't be perfect forever... have to face it and have to find ways to settle it... my mood now is good but feel like wanna be moody for a moment.... in these relationships, i know tat i'm such a failure... feel afraid in having any failure relationship... scare to hurt and being hurt but keep on dragging is not good.... i dun wan dun wan DUN WAN... just skip this.... just cant believe tat i've done my first sem..... walao eh.... fast dao..... i cant touch my favorite sub already.... the sub tat i put all my afford on it.... but others like shit... actually i hate to answer HOWS UR PAPER??? but i did ask this question before... i know myself very well, ok??? if i said i cant means i've no confident with it... just trust me, wei~~~ i dun have no offence here.... imma too straight forward :P i'm lazy to type already.... hope everything will be fine in these coming yearsssss~~~ jia you!!!!!!!!

a exclamation mark !!!!

why is it everything ended up like this?? at first i just want to be kind and friendly.. i dun have the heart to do so.... i just wan to be a good friends for u guys.. i dun expect best friends from u guys but just a good friends.. maybe i'm such a failure to be a good friend nor best friend... just treat me as a friend then... if dun wan, u may get lost from my friend list.. u can just block me whenever u wan... what so ever..... i dun care at all... i noticed since long long time ago.. everyone can laugh and play with me when the moment all of us together... but once we went far apart from each other.. i was like no one to them... maybe i'm a friend tat just fool around and bring nothing to them.... i have no idea... even a simple contact through fb also can ignore... maybe we should ended all of our friendship here at that place.. i dun wan to mention where is it?? and wat had we been through... just forget all about it... there's no meaningful memories here... quite disappointed actually.... wat's wrong, men?? erm.. i think is my problem.. i cant be a best friend and same goes to good friend... so, i'm a normal friend for everyone... i have no benefits for u guys.... dun come so near to me... i have nothing... if u wanna get joy from me, oh no... no, thanks... that's it... i dun wan to mention much.. and end here................................................................................. just forget everything tat happened at that place... it was not a part of my sweet memories from now on.... it is a nightmare.... sorry to say tat but i really feel tat nothing worth to think of anymore... and not worth for me to think of those days where we went to, wat we had did from day to night, and wat we've been through from the tough days...

to all of u

girls and guys.... actually i wanna to say something to u guys long long time ago.... i couldn't find a chance to say it... but now... wanna apologies to all of u with wat i have done last time.... feel like i'm too childish and 'yer man'.. thank you all of u, accept who i am and changed me.... is a better of me... i feel tat knowing u guys is my pleasure... from a hated person to a loved person... is a big changes in my life i think.... looking backward... i knew tat i hurt a lot of ppl with my 'straight forward'... i knew tat i dun know how to treat friends well.... honestly, i dun wan to hurt those who loved me before... but sorry tat i just dun know how to react.... thank you so much to all of u.... take care.....

3rd week in penang

wow... after all.... she thinks everything is settled down already... sometimes she feels tat regretted enter ns for that batch... or maybe she doesn't even need to reapply.. for just being godness sick wanna finish her's ns earlier and enjoy everything activities there.... but she was happy for knowing many babies over there.... and she did enjoyed every activities.... but but but.... some ppl some times really ruined her mood seriously... just want *** disappear in her mind... and just fuck off... oh my god... she wanna delete her memories in her's brain right now..... it's suffer..... friends~~~ wat do u mean FRIEND??? she got no idea.... wat is friend?? is tat friend important in our life??? ya, friend is important... but now... she is used to be alone... but but but...... she is a girl still.... she will feel afraid in some times but she knows she has to be tough... she's really scare... really scare scare scare.... yet still, she has to go through it... because she knows there is no one beside with her... when she really need a hand and shoulder, she din even see a shadow....

wahhh... i'm tired here.... stress stress stress... why everyone besides me woke up so early for study?? why?? i'm going insane soon if i join them often... seriously... i saw them and i heard them... but i just dun have the study mood yet...... give me some times... a little bit more.... pls.... i know the time will never wait for people.... we have to chase for the time but not the time wait for us.... seriously.... i haven adapt to this place yet... pretender... maybe i'm a pretender... i cant find my personality yet.. where is it ya??? anyone know is it??? haizz...

小气鬼

ｏｍｇ...　ｄｏ　ｕ　ｋｎｗ　ｗａｔ....　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｍｙ　ｆｉｒｓｔ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｋｎｏｗｉｎｇ　ｓｕｃｈ　ａ　ｓｍａｌｌ　ｇａｓ'ｓ　ｐｅｒｓｏｎ...　ｓｏ　ｄａｍｎ　ｓｍａｌｌ　ｇａｓ..　ｕ　ｃａｎ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｆｕｃｋ　ｏｆｆ　ｉｎ　ｍｙ　ｓｉｇｈｔ　,ｍｅｎ...　ｄａｍｎ..　ｐｌｓ　ｄｕｎ　ｍａｄ　ｍｅ　ｕｐ　ｍｅｎ....　ｉ　ｄｕｎ　ｇｉｖｅ　ａ　ｄａｍｎ　ｔｏ　ｕ　ａｔ　ａｌｌ　ａｌｓｏ　....　ｂｙ　ｔｈｅ　ｗａｙ,　ｕ　ｒ　ｎｏｔ　ａｎｙ　ｏｎｅ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ　ａｌｓｏ...　ｎｏｔ　ｅｖｅｎ　ＦＲＩＥＮＤ....　ｈａｈａｈａｈａｈｈａｈａ...　

stop..

stop.. stop.. stop... stop thinking of that person anymore.... it was all over already... the person is no one to you since from the start...... u guys are just friends.... u both knew each others not more than 4 months..... i already have mine.... and pls dun think of that person anymore.... oh my god.... dun ever care wat the person post at facebook or why the person din comment on ur post anymore.... pls... pls... pls..... i'm very tired la.... u cannot be so selfish... cannot... cannot....

when u smile, the whole world smile with u; when u cry, u cry alone

today i just felt like crying.... i'm tired and i think it was enough for me to receive it anymore.. i'm mentally tired.... what's wrong with it ya?? may i know??? damn it... i just can't understand... but i just hope to know.... lol... fine fine fine... today i ate damn much for my dinner..ah neh, satu maggie mee goreng, satu toseh, satu roti pisang, satu roti milo.. and drank one teh o ais, satu teh tarik... and cause me feel like vomit... damn suffer... when i'm moody, for sure i'll eat so much of food... will never stop.... erm.. wondering how will i live without my parent's support... i din feel worry when i need to live alone but the support of family is very important to me... i've to distress by myself.. wow.. it's difficult men.... what to do, it's life.... i know.. i understand... still got 9 days, i'll be at penang to further my studies... i'll never expect that i can enter local university before.... but i'm entering on this 6th of sept... lol... wish me good luck , men... there's a saying 'when you smile, the whole world smile with you but when u cry, u cry alone.... it's true... it's true.... as wat i'm facing now... haven prepare anything yet for tat day....